HONEY HONEY
  BABY DON'T YOU WANT A MAN LIKE ME
  HONEY HONEY
  BABY DON'T YOU WANT A MAN LIKE ME
  
  HE WAS THE PLAYBOY TYPE (HE SMOKED A PIPE)
  HIS FAV'RITE PHRASE WAS "OUTA-SITE!"
  HE HAD AN IRISH SETTER
  
  IT WAS A SINGLES BAR, A TUESDAY NIGHT
  THE MOON WAS DIM, THE BAND WAS TIGHT
  THEY DID THE BUMP TOGETHER
  
  WHAT A SPLENDID SIGHT, HER TEETH WERE WHITE
  THE DRINKS WERE CHEAP (IT WAS LADIES NITE)
  HE WAS GLAD THAT HE MET HER
  
  SHE WAS AN OFFICE GIRL (HER NAME WAS BETTY)
  HER FAV'RITE GROUP WAS HELEN REDDY
  (THEY DISCUSSED THE WEATHER)
  
  chorus repeat
  
  SHE WAS THE LONELY SORT, JUST A LITTLE TOO SHORT
  HER JOKES WERE DUMB AND HER FAV'RITE SPORT
  WAS HOCKEY (IN THE WINTER)
  
  HE WAS DULY IMPRESSED AND WAS QUICK TO SUGGEST
  ANY SPORT WITH A PUCK HAD TO BE 'BOUT THE BEST
  AS HE JABBED HIS ELBOW IN HER (GET IT HONEY?)
  
  LATER ON THEY WENT OFF TO WHERE THE MUSIC WAS SOFT,
  THE CANDLES WERE DRIPPY, THEY SAW A REAL HIPPY
  WHO DELIVERED THEIR DINNER
  
  THE RICE WAS BROWN, AND SOON THEY FOUND
  THAT THE CROWD AROUND THAT HAD JAMMED THE ROOM,
  WELL IT SEEMED TO BE GETTING THINNER
  
  chorus repeat
  
  HE TOOK HER HOME TO A MOTOR COURT
  SHE WOULDN'T KISS HIM, HE TRIED TO IGNORE IT,
  BUT IT MADE HIM ANGRY!
  
  HE CALLED HER A SLUT, A PIG AND A WHORE
  A BITCH AND A CUNT AND SHE SLAMMED THE DOOR
  IN A PETULANT FRENZY!
  
  ON THE SOFA SHE WEEPS
  BOO HOO HOO HOO
  SHE WEEPS AND SHE WEEPS
  BOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO
  SHE WEEPS AND SHE PEEPS
  THROUGH THE CURTAIN
  
  HE JUST GOT IN HIS CAR
  BUT THE BATTERY'S DEAD
  SO HE ASKS TO USE THE PHONE
  AND SHE GIVES HIM SOME HEAD
  AND THAT'S THE END OF THE STORY
  
  chorus repeat