Rubber band
  There's a rubber band that plays tunes out of tune
  In the library garden Sunday afternoon
  While a little chappie waves a golden wand
    Rubber band
  In 1910 I was so handsome and so strong
  My moustache was stiffly waxed and one foot long
    And I loved a girl while you played teatime tunes
    Dear Rubber band, you're playing my tunes out of tune, oh
    Rubber band, Won't you play a haunting theme again to me
    While I eat my scones and drink my cup
  of tea
    The sun is warm but it's a lonely afternoon
  Oh, play that theme
    Rubber band
  How I wish that I could join your Rubber band
  We could play in lively parks throughout the land
  And one Sunday afternoon I'd find my love
    Rubber band
  In '14-'18 war I went to sea
  Thought my Sunday love was waiting home for me
    And now she's married to the leader of the band, oh
  [spoken]
  Oh sob: I hope you break your baton